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Donna uses many relaxation techniques to help the couples she works with in her natural childbirth classes, to deal with the pain of labor and delivery. I asked Donna to outline how the technique works, and how it applies to the couples-based approach of Back Together:

One of the most effective techniques that we offer laboring couples, the tension/relaxation body scan, can be a great way to promote relaxation under any circumstance. You can work this technique as a couple or alone.  It works any time of day and some people find it especially helpful to promote sleep.  I often used it on my daughters if they’re a little antsy at bedtime.  When you work on it as a couple, you have the added benefit of the partner learning what tension and relaxation actually feel like in each of the muscle groups.  I will refer to the person experiencing the relaxation as the “subject” and the person guiding the technique as the “partner.” My husband and I have found that this type of technique is great for helping with back discomfort.

This technique works best when lying down, but can work anywhere in a pinch.

Have the subject lie down in a comfortable position.  Beginning with the forehead as them to tense up the muscle group.  Then say something like, “This is tension.  This is what we want to eliminate.”  Then ask the subject to relax and affirm that action with, “This is relaxation.  This is what we want.”  Next, take  the subject through the following body areas, using the same procedure of tension/relaxation and the same script:  Have them: scrunch up and then relax their nose and cheeks, clench and then relax their jaw, tense and relax their neck, shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, hands, chest, stomach, groin, buttocks, thighs, calves, feet and toes.  When you have completed this body scan, have them tense and relax their full bodies.  Remind them that they are in a state of physical relaxation and that this is good.

Many people find that it helps if the partner touches each of these areas.  This helps both because it physically guides the subject and because it teaches the partner what tension and relaxation feel like in the subject’s body areas.

You may find over time that you can alter the script a bit, making it your own.  The key is to work together to promote a sense of relaxation for both of you.  I also urge you to reverse the roles every once in a while.  This benefits both the partner, who then gets to receive the relaxation and both partners by promoting a sense of empathy.  Have fun with this and happy relaxing!

Thanks Donna.

This is just one relaxation ’script’- I found a website which outlines a whole bunch, and while they are kind of crunchy, they do seem helpful. Take a look here.

It sounds like telling someone to relax would be an obvious help for pain conditions, but you would be surprised how few people take the initiative to give themselves the gift of a few minutes of relaxation a day. Keep in mind that physical relaxation and mental relaxation can both have positive benefits and that some activities can relax both the body and mind. One thing I do is try to set aside a small portion of every day to play the piano, and both my body and mind are acutely aware of the days when I don’t find the time.

The magnificent Black Forrest Steinway.