Yesterday, Terri Trespecio did a really nice post on my appearance on her show. In it she made this statement:
“Don’t overidentify with your back pain. There are far more interesting things you and I should be known for.”
I was so happy to read this!
So many people suffering with back & neck pain start to accept their pain as being such a fundamental, unavoidable component of their lives, that it actually starts to become part of their identity- shaping all they do, and influencing their attitudes about just about everything. Now that’s not to say that pain doesn’t or shouldn’t effect your life when you are suffering- that would be unreasonable. What I am concerned about is something more insidious.
I often make a differentiation between a person who is sick, and a sick person. Let me explain…
Assume there are two people with the same physical medical conditions:
The first, a person who is sick, wakes up and says “I am very sick, and it will be really difficult to all of the things I need to do today.”
The second, a sick person, wakes up and says “I am very sick, and I won’t be able to do all of the things I need to do today.”
It is a subtle distinction, but an important one.
When you are in pain- especially if the pain lingers for a while- it can so easy for it to become part of your who you are. You can see why- it’s always there- reminding you of its’ presence.
It is really important to avoid this quagmire, as it changes who you are, and gives the pain more power over you than it should. There are a few things you can do to help:
-Take a few minutes out of the day to reflect on those times when the pain was not so bad.
-Find gratitude for all of the things in your life which may be going well, so you don’t start to believe that nothing is right.
-Even if they are uncomfortable, try to participate in some of the activities you normally would.
-Remind your partner that you are still you, even when you are in pain. Don’t allow them to treat you as though you are fragile. That approach will only worsen matters, and make it harder to get out of this mindset, as you now have a reinforcer.
-Make sure you don’t give up on hobbies and diversions, even if it means modifying your participation in the activity (You may not be able to go horseback riding when you are in pain, but perhaps you could instruct kids on how to ride.)
These are just a few suggestions. It is critical to your overall well being that you not allow yourself to become your back pain.
Thanks for stopping by.
-Andy
My good friend Jorden Gold doing facilitated stretching on former Eagle, Chad Lewis
